How to Identify Your Personal Core Values

Knowing your personal core values is essential to start living a meaningful life. But trying to figure them out can be hard, especially if you’re using a values list and hoping something resonates, or racking your brain trying to think about what should matter to you.

So what’s the best way to determine your personal core values? If you’d like a simple framework that cuts through the confusion and helps you identify the values that truly matter to you, read on!

Why Common Methods For Identifying Your Personal Core Values Fail

Values Lists

You’ve probably seen “values lists” where you read through a huge list and pick out any values that seem “right”. I’ve tried this method myself and found it very overwhelming.

The problem with this method of discovering your personal core values is that you choose with your head, rather than recognising what your heart already knows. So we end up choosing core values that look good on paper, but in reality don’t feel authentic for us.

Abstract Thinking

Values aren’t intellectual concepts, so thinking about what should matter to you isn’t a good way to determine what your personal core values are. The best place to find them is in your lived experiences.

When we try to determine our personal core values through values lists or abstract thinking, we’re trying to “choose” values and we risk choosing the wrong ones, maybe because we think it sounds impressive. But trying to live by values that don’t feel authentic for us will be a struggle.

How to IdentifyYour Personal Core Values: A 4-Step Framework

Before you start this process, think about which area of your life you want to focus on like relationships, career or leisure. Choose which feels most important to you right now, maybe where you’re facing decisions or feeling uncertain. This helps you to identify your personal core values without trying to analyse your entire life at once.

Step 1: Look For Evidence in Your Current Life

What values are you already living?

Step 2: Notice Your Emotional Reactions

Our feelings reveal what matters to us.

Try to notice:

• What makes you feel proud or satisfied
• What makes you feel frustrated or angry
• What you envy in other people’s lives
• What you would regret not having in your life

Step 3: Reflect On Your Best and Worst Moments

Our positive experiences and challenging times reveal what we value.

Step 4: Test What You’ve Discovered

Once you’ve identified some potential personal core values, answer the following questions:

• Does this value feel essential to who I am?
• Am I willing to make sacrifices to honour this value?
• Does this value guide my decisions, or is it just an aspiration?
• How would I feel if I couldn’t live this value?

If a value doesn’t feel essential or motivating, it’s probably not a core value for you.

Different Types of Values

There are 3 main categories values fall under. Knowing these can help you identify a balanced set of personal core values. It’s normal and healthy to have values from multiple categories.

You can see some core values examples from all three categories and what they look like in real life in this article: 10 Real Life Core Values Examples

Common Mistakes When Trying To Identify Personal Core Values

Trying to Have Too Many Values

When identifying your values, it’s best to aim for around five that feel important to you. You’ll be using these to guide your decisions, so if you have too many you’ll probably struggle to use them effectively.

Ignoring Values That Conflict With Other People’s Expectations

You might be tempted to reject a value because it’s not something the people in your life prioritise. But if you ignore values that are true to who you are, you can’t live authentically.

Confusing Aspirations with Core Values

Sometimes people list things they wish they valued (like discipline or adventure), but your core values or what you already prioritise in real life.

How to Live by Your Personal Core Values Every Day

Now that you’ve identified your values, it’s time to start putting them into practice. The goal is to start living them in small and manageable ways. Here are some simple first steps:

Notice when your daily choices don’t align with your values

Awareness is the first step to making meaningful change, so acknowledge these moments without judgement. This gives you the power to make a better choice next time.

Choose one value you’ve identified and find a small way to honour it this week

Pick a value that resonated strongly with you during the framework exercise, then think of one way to express it in your daily life. For example, if connection matters to you, you could reach out to a friend you haven’t spoken to for a while, or if health is a core value you could go for a walk or make something healthy for lunch.

Use your values to make one small decision this week

When facing a choice, even something minor like how to spend your evening or how to respond to a request, pause and ask yourself which option feels better aligned with your values. Practice using your values as a decision-making guide.

Final Thoughts on How to Identify Your Personal Core Values

Identifying your personal core values is more about recognising what already matters to you, rather than trying to pick the right ones from a list. Once you know your core values, you can start making better decisions and living a more authentic, intentional and meaningful life.

If you’re feeling disconnected from yourself right now, start learning how to reconnect with yourself when life feels meaningless. You can see how your values align with your daily life with the free Meaningful Living Check-In.

Want to know how your core values relate to living a balanced life? This post explains: Why Core Values Are Key to Living in Balance and this post shows you how to put it into practice: How to Create Balance in Life Using Your Values. If you’re wondering how to navigate challenges that arise when trying to live your values, read this post: What to Do When Values Conflict With Real Life.